Henry and June, Anais Nin
Back in the day, Alice and I used to exchange books centered around eroticism. One of the first books Alice gave me was Little Birds, by Anais Nin (how do you do umlauts in HTML?). It was my first Nin experience. I loved her writing. In Baltimore, there's a cool used bookstore called Normal's. On a trip there with Dave and Alexis, I found Nin's Henry and June, which is not at all a novel, but the diary she had while she was seeing Henry Miller and his wife, June, was in the states. The diaries were eventually made into a film, which I have yet to see, but from what I hear is full of good erotic hotness. The journal is as well. In it, I see her claiming independence, fervor, sexual release and independence that comes off as trying, trite, painful, insecure... this could also simply be a reflection of myself though. I readily admit that there has been more than one occasion when my excitement for sex and eroticism has been more for safety than an actual expression of me. However, her journal writing is fantastic and affects my own because I can see in what she writes a necessity to simply write. A romantic notion, but one I don't mind adopting. From her journals:I have remained the woman who loves incest. I still practice the most incestuous crimes with a sacred religious fervor. I am the most currupt of all women, for I seek a refinement in my incest, the accompaniment of beautiful chants, music, so that everyone believes in my soul. With a madonna face, I still swallow God and sperm, and my orgasm resembles a mystical climax. The men I love, Hugo loves, and I let them act like brothers. Eduardo confesses his love to Allendy. Allendy is going to be my lover. Now I send Hugo to Allendy so that Allendy will teach him to be less dependent on me for his happiness.
Hugo is Nin's husband; Eduardo a long-time lover; Allendy is Eduardo's psychoanalyst, and then Nin's, who eventually seduces him to regain control over the emotional nakedness (it seems so obvious to me). Henry is who she loves most--sensually--though she finds safety in Hugo. She also loves June.
This woman.
What a night! How one can go to sleep poisoned, heavy with tears, with rage still smoking. Go ahead, Henry, pity Hugo, because I am going to deceive him a hundred times. I would deceive the greatest and finest man on earth. The ideal of faithfulness is a joke. Remember what I taught you tonight: psychology tries to reestablish the basis of life not on ideals but on sincerity with one's self. Hit, hit all you want to. I'll hit back.The final passage I leave is one that sums up her writing, what she wanted her life to imitate, and what turned me on--quite honestly.
with only pauses between plunges.
